My Friend Tommy (2023) Film Review
My Friend Tommy is a beautiful and very risky film. It could pass off as a tribute to something quite toxic about today’s macho-driven society, but there’s something beyond its initial premise. Something that surpasses any relevant consideration you may hold about the “dirty” theme being approached: right at the center of this brutal attack on social standards, there’s an emotional story about prejudice and how it has modeled us towards a relatively negative thesis.
“You’re supposed to…”. And if you don’t achieve this, you’re part of something different. A completely distinct plane of society, where you’re a pariah.
With this premise Nem Stankovic takes off with his film, in which he just wants to help his friend. Supposedly. It could all be part of a sick joke but as viewers we decide to trust this giant of a buddy who decides to make a film about Thomas Lee whose only goal is to stop being a 40-year-old virgin. Yes, you read that correctly. The title of Apatow’s film is actually true for Tommy.
He’s never gone on a date. Never kissed a girl. Never watched porn. He lives with his conservative parents who also manage all his income. He doesn’t even have a bank account. The documentary My Friend Tommy is a portrait of a mission in which Tommy will accomplish certain goals his friend Nem will help him with.
You’re not wrong to think the film is a comedy of some sorts. Surely it has to be. Tommy’s attitude regards a mocking view of his own situation. He laughs at himself. Nem does as well. The group of friends that accompany them cheer whenever Tommy takes one step further.
But into what exactly? The personality of the film hides this a first when it’s just a celebration of stupid jokes and a friendship that crosses a toxic boundary every now and then. Tommy remains a subject and the film pushes the dagger even deeper. Something’s not quite right in this personal journey of self-discovery.
When the film arrives at its grounded destination, My Friend Tommy becomes the film it must be. If you thought the premise was hard to believe, wait till you arrive at a third act. A pivotal scene involving a phone call is crucial to understanding the figure of Tommy and the element of self-righteousness. Sometimes films have a weird way of being wake-up calls in the middle of a loud preconception. In My Friend Tommy we just had to listen. Instead, we applauded a horrific submission of social standards.
A final call involving a big reveal is even more illuminating. But it’s for you to see and decide if the journey was worth it. Is My Friend Tommy a film about Tommy or Nem? Who learned more? We could say Nem was an irrelevant part of the story but when a lesson is taught, he enters the center of a story in an empathy circle that seemed impossible to exist in this weird little doc.
