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Holy Moses Batman, this movie sucks!

Exodus Gods and Kings movie review

Movie Rating:

Wow. You know, I’m usually the kind of person who upon hearing that a movie isn’t so good, usually tries to find the good in that movie. That’s probably why I enjoyed The Amazing Spider-man 2 so much, and it’s probably why I was able to bare Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So when I started to hear that Exodus wasn’t so good, I was like, “Come on, Christian Bale’s playing Moses, how can that not be good!”

Well….. Now I know.

Exodus: Gods And Kings might not only be possibly the worst movie I’ve seen this year, and there’s been some competition (I’m still angry at you Rio 2), I’m surprised that something this poorly was green lit in the first place. Still, for some reason I’d kind of recommend it, for no other reason then the fact that you won’t see anything like it until we finally find real life aliens.

I will say that from no matter what standpoint you look at it, this is a very well made movie. There are plenty of long impressive shots of Egypt, the ten plagues all look like they’re straight out of a disaster movie (a well made one that is), and the acting is pretty solid all around. Christian Bale and Joel Edgerton have to do almost all the heavy lifting in this movie, and they do pretty well with the material they’re given.

But here we encounter our first big problem in this movie, THIS HAS WORSE PACING THAN THE BOOK OF LIFE! The first third of this movie fly’s by so fast that we’re barely given time to process any of it, which really hampers most of the character development. This is especially noticeable in the character of Moses since right around the end of the first act, he just kind of comes off as a bit of a jerk. They kind of fix this problem as the movie goes on, but he really needed more character building in the beginning.

Joel Edgerton is fine as Ramasees, but he really lacks the impact his character needed, despite him being a fairly sympathetic character despite all the awful crap he’s doing. Speaking characters lacking impact, THESE SIDE CHARACTERS GO BY QUICKER THAN A BULLET TRAIN! What was the point of having John Turturro, Ben Kingsly, Sigourney Weaver, and Araon Paul if you’re hardly going to give them any screen time? Not to mention character development.

Yeah, and about that whole casting issue, you know with most of the cast being predominately white despite it most likely not being accurate to the time period at all? Well I won’t pretend it’s not noticeable to say the least. (John Turturro especially is a little off-putting to me) Now this movie makes a few decisions, such as the portrayal of God that personally, just kind of scared me to be honest. But, that is a fairly personal topic, so I will try not to concentrate on that side of the movie. If anyone really wants for me to discuss that, I’d be happy to do a blog about it. (I highly doubt anyone’s interested though so never mind) Let’s just say that, this years Noah was probably able to handle this situation better.

Still, take away all the religious bias from this movie, and what you’re left with still isn’t very good. Sometimes the pacing in this movie got so bad it actually dove into the wondrous land of “so bad it’s good” filmmaking. There’s a scene where Moses is putting his weapons on a table, and as he puts down a knife it just suddenly cuts to Ramasees waking up in a cold sweat, like that somehow caused his spider-sense to go off or something.

Sadly the part that most of us probably came for, the parting of the Red Sea, is pretty underwhelming when you get right down to it. Also, I hope you like shakey-cam, because it makes a very special little appearance near the beginning of the movie, and then is almost never brought up again. Man, you thought the first Hunger Games was bad.

Exodus: Gods And Kings is a movie that, for me, has disappointed on every level. Even taking away the somewhat frighteningly depressing take on the Exodus story that Ridley Scott has given us (to be fair, it’s a pretty freaky story when you really think about it) you still have an incredibly poorly paced movie that makes you wonder what the heck happened in the editing room. In fact, I have to agree with Youtube critic Chris Stuckmann in saying that there might just be a much better version of this in the directors cut.

Oh and you know what the best part about this is? This is my first Ridley Scott movie. What a freaking wonderful introduction to “one of films greatest directors!” Yaaaaaaay…..

Movie Rating:

The Media Fire gives this movie 4.5/10

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The Media Fire
Non-professional critic who's always trying to further their movie-critiquing skills.

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