Throughout the history of action films, there have always been bodyguards. Those are people who would risk anything to protect the hero of the story from any danger. Their main goal is to make sure the story’s bad guy doesn’t kill the hero. But what if the person the bodyguard was trying to protect was the bad guy. That is what’s happening in the new action comedy The Hitman’s Bodyguard.
For years, protection agent Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) has been trying to repair his career after loosing his top rated status. He may have been presented with that chance when he is hired to guard notorious hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson). Darius is scheduled to testify in international court against ruthless dictator Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman). Unfortunate, Michael and Darius have a history together. If they want to succeed, they’ll have to put their differences aside and work together to make it to court on time.
I went into this movie hoping for a good time. While everyone else in the theater seemed to enjoy it, I can’t say the same. The Hitman’s Bodyguard is one of the stupidest films to come out of this lazy summer season. I found no joy in watching this stinker of a movie.
First off, aside from 1 or 2 funny jokes, this movie was completely laugh free. I found myself shaking my head in pity more than laughing. The humor of this movie relies fully on throwaway sight gags, gratuitous violence, and consistent swearing. There were so many people getting killed that I was sure they were treating death like a joke. Well guess what? This was one joke that never worked.
So many movies this year have been horrible when it came to having a consistent tone, and this one was no different. Once again, they went into a movie without knowing what kind they wanted to make. I found out that this movie was supposed to by a drama, but was rewritten to be a comedy two weeks before they started shooting. This shows a lot throughout the movie, which is a bad thing. The tones conflict so much that they cancel each other out and the movie feels like nothing.
The performances were also nothing special. Reynolds and Jackson were playing severely unlikable characters that I wanted dead very early on in the movie. Kincaid was someone I really wanted to kill myself. He’s a character I wouldn’t want to root for. Reynolds and Jackson had no chemistry between each other, so there was no real reason to for me to root for them.
Just like the humor, this whole movie relied on everything that made other similar films good. This film did nothing to try and reinvent the genre. The actions scenes were uninteresting and extremely loud, almost unwatchable. The story also was unoriginal and very underdeveloped. I was hoping for more backstory between the characters instead of sticking us in the middle and forcing us to figure out what was happening.
In the end, this movie just felt like it was made for one purpose: to put Reynolds and Jackson in a movie together. They are two of the biggest action stars in the movies right now, so it was only a matter of time before they stared in a movie together. The bad thing about this in this movie is that it had no real purpose. There wasn’t any thought put into why these two big stars were together.
The Hitman’s Bodyguard is one of the most unexpected messes I’ve ever sat through. I didn’t think it was going to be great, but I didn’t expect it to be this horrible. If anything, this movie will find its audience in fans of the TV show Archer. The movie plays like an episode of that show, so if you love that show, you’ll probably like this movie. I hate that show with a passion, so for me, this movie was just immature violence and sight gags I could have lived without seeing.