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ABE & PHIL’S LAST POKER GAME (2018)

Greetings again from the darkness. There really isn’t an age where one’s level of horniness is of interest to the outside world. The topic is certainly cringe-inducing as we listen in on two old men bemoaning their current state of dysfunction, while simultaneously recalling their glorious past conquests. Were these two gents played by lesser actors than screen legends Martin Landau and Paul Sorvino, there would be no need to tune in.

Writer/director Howard Weiner (a Neurologist and Harvard professor – thanks Google) delivers his first narrative feature film as a statement on old age, pride and dying. In Mr. Landau’s final film, he plays Dr. (not Mister!) Abe Mandelbaum (I’m giving credit as a “Seinfeld” reference, whether intentional or not), who, along with his dementia-riddled wife Molly (Ann Marie Shea), moves into Cliffside Manor – a Retirement Center and Nursing Home. Abe quickly bonds with fellow resident Phil (Mr. Sorvino) as the two exchange dirty jokes and tales of yesteryear.

The other story line involves a nurse (Maria Dizzia, MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE) who has reason to believe the biological father she’s never met is a resident at the manor. The obvious development is whether Abe or the notoriously womanizing Phil might be her father. Other minor story lines include the center’s director (Alexander Cook) who admittedly hates old people as he searches for a miracle potion to prevent his own aging, Molly’s struggle with dementia which can only be soothed with her fur coat or relief in bed, and a last hurrah field trip to a local sports bar with the nurse, Abe and Phil.

If not for the vulgarities and three of the most uncomfortable sex scenes you’ve likely ever witnessed, this would have been a textbook Lifetime Channel movie. Watching two pros like Mr. Landau and Mr. Sorvino go at each other is quite a treat – though you best enjoy old men talking about sex, as the subtleties of pride, masculinity and self-identity of men are mere afterthoughts here. Oscar winner Landau (ED WOOD) deserved a send-off more in line with Harry Dean Stanton’s LUCKY, but fortunately he has a 60 year career as his legacy.

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David is a lifelong movie lover and long time movie blogger ... holding a true appreciation for the dedicated artists who make up the filmmaking community. He welcomes the lively debate and discussion inspired by the interesting movies.